I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
