This girl is more easily done than said...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
