A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
