SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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