Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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