oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
