WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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