I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
