You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
