Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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