She is in my trunk
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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