Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize