idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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