it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Who died my cat blue again?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
