$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
