Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
