i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
