I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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