i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
