just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
