Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
