I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the day after is always just damage control
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
