I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
