maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
