she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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