16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
