guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
