I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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