11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
