Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
