cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
