I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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