After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
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