i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
