Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
