Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
