Say something about gay babies.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
