oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i believe in u and ur pee
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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