I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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