I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
