I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize