just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
