Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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