I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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