i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
