I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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