chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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