you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
