Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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