my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
