Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
