I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
