lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
